BeQui 101

All you ever wanted to know, and more

Chaskin’s Birth Story November 26, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — bequirox @ 8:10 pm

About a week and a half ago, I started getting pretty anxious about Chaskin coming. I had a feeling that we needed to get a waterproof mattress cover, so I bought one. I have had several false labor concerns. Like, I would have cramping or contractions and be convinced that labor was starting. But I didn’t want to go to the hospital if I didn’t have to. So I would give myself a deadline, or go lay down, and the contractions would stop. So for the last week I’ve been praying that I would have a clear sign for when it was time to go to the hospital, like my water breaking.

By the way, I did NOT want to be induced this time, and I did NOT want to get an epidural. My epidurals with the girls went so badly, I just didn’t even want to bother with it again.

So I stayed home from work on Tuesday because I was sick. then I had Wednesday off. I went in for a check up. I was dilated to a 3 and 70-80% effaced. My doctor told me I could have the baby any day. Then I went in for an ultrasound. I’ve been measuring a little big, so we wanted to make sure he wasn’t 20 pounds or something. Anthony was able to come, and during the ultrasound we confirmed that Chaskin was still a boy. They gave me a size estimate of 7 lb 11 oz (give or take 18 oz). So a least I could be reasonably sure that he would be less than 10 pounds when he was born.

I was really unsure whether I would go to work anymore, because Anthony had given me the go ahead to stop working whenever I felt like it, and my doctor told m she would write a note and I could pick the day. I ended up going to work Thursday, and I was really glad I did. It was great to see my coworkers again and I had a really fun day.

Friday, I experienced some signs of impending labor that I don’t want to discuss, so I called in to work. I did some nesting (Made 2 pans of banana bread and washed all the curtains) and then when Anthony got home we went on a date. We ate burgers and watched Catching Fire. Then I took some Benadryl so I could sleep soundly. I woke up several times through the night from strong contractions that made me have to pee. At 8:00 I woke up from an especially strong contraction. It was kind of painful, and I thought to myself that I should write down the time and see if I had any more, when suddenly my water broke.

Water breaking is one of the weirdest sensations. It felt like someone squeezing a water balloon, and then it popped. I gasped really loudly and said, “My water just broke!” Anthony jumped out of bed and started running around to my side. I told him to calm down, that we had time before we had to go anywhere. He called his mom to come stay with the girls, and I took a shower. We left the house at about 9:30 and checked into the hospital at 9:45. During the car ride, my contractions were about 3 minutes apart. When we got the the hospital, they checked my dilation and I was at a 4. My contractions stopped almost immediately. My doctor wasn’t on call, but she came in anyway and checked in.

My nurse checked me again at about 1:00. It was super painful and I cried. I was still at a 4. She told me she was going to call my doctor and that my doctor might want me hooked up to pitocin. I refused. She told me they start it really low and blah blah blah and I refused to use it. My contractions started right back up, and I discussed pain management options with my nurse. She told me they could give me a shot of a pain killer if I needed it, but I couldn’t be dilated above a 7. At 3:00, my contractions started picking up and I asked for the pain killer. She checked my dilation and I was at a 5. They gave me the pain killer and I got really groggy, but the pain was more manageable. It wore off after about 30 minutes and the pain was getting pretty bad. I asked the nurse to check me again at 3:45 and I was at a 5.5. When I realized that 45 minutes of pain (and it was increasing) had only dilated me a half a centimeter, I asked for an epidural. Then the contractions really started getting crazy. At 4:00, the anesthesiologist and my doctor came in. By this point I was screaming from the pain. The anesthesiologist was a jerk and kept getting mad at me for moving or for crying without telling her what was wrong. She finally got the needle in at 4:10 but by then I could feel Chaskin crowning. I started pushing and at 4:16 after 3 contractions, he was out. I went from 5.5 centimeters to a baby in my arms in half an hour. The anesthesiologist put in the medicine while I was pushing, so it kicked in after Chaskin was already born.

There is something completely crazy about child birth. One second there is a human inside you, and you’re screaming in pain. The next second the pain is completely gone and you’re holding your new child. It’s so amazing and wonderful. I love my little buddy. he’s so relaxed and adorable. He has the cutest hairy back and legs. I just pet him for hours and rub my face in his head hair.

I’ll post pictures when I have time to upload them onto my computer. He’s already nursing like a pro and sleeping pretty well at night.

The girls have been so crazy sweet with him. They just hug and kiss him all the time. Sarah was holding him this morning, and he started crying. She sang “Summertime” to him and he fell right asleep on her. Andrea calls him Wittle Chaskin and loves to pet his head. I’m so blessed to have 3 such amazing and adorable kids.


Kindergartener September 1, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — bequirox @ 4:08 pm

Sarah turned 5 this year. It was a great birthday! I had the day off because I had gotten a tooth pulled on the 20th and I just took the rest of the week off. We didn’t really do anything that day, except she got to pick her meals and we made her cake and decorated it. On Saturday we ate breakfast at Virg’s, then had Molly and Robbie come over. We went to Hollywood Connections, and the girls all had a BLAST on the rides and in the arcade. I was able to get a super sweet deal from Groupon that gave us 5 wristbands and 15 tokens per band. We also got to play mini golf. Then we came home and all the girls decorated cupcakes. Then we went to Sizzler with Julie and Bob and Julie’s parents. Then back to the house for cake and candles and presents.

Sarah's 5th birthday

Sarah's 5th birthday 1

Sarah loved her Belle costume, and I was glad because she has been asking for it for MONTHS.

The 22nd was Back to School night, so Sarah got to meet her Kindergarten teacher. Mrs. Almeida. Sarah thinks her teacher is BEAUTIFUL. She talked about her for days. On the 27th she had her Kindergarten Assessment. She asked me on the drive over if her teacher would be wearing the same clothes. I told her probably not. While Sarah had her assessment, I helped out with some paperwork for her teacher. Andrea had a blast climbing all over these giant steps they have. I wasn’t there watching the assessment, but I guess I’m supposed to get Sarah’s results in a week or so. Who knows. I just know she’s smart and friendly and I’m sure she’ll do great.

The 29th was her first day of school. She picked her outfit (they have uniforms, but different options like khaki instead of plaid, etc.) and told me she wanted her hair in a neck pony, and she wanted to wear her headband.


I walked her in to class and I loved how confident she was. While they were finding their spots in line (I think alphabetized by last name) she raised her hand and then told the teacher about watching her dad exercise. She went straight to her cubby to put away her Hello Kitty backpack and then started coloring. She is so great at following directions! I took a couple pictures at her desk (They’re on my dad’s camera, so I will get them and post them later) and then Andrea and I left. I was very proud of myself and Sarah because neither of us cried. While she was in class, Andrea and I had a private time. First, we went to Ream’s and ate a donut.

Kindergarten 1

Then we had to run a few errands. We picked up Sarah after school. (By the way, Sarah has graduated to a booster seat, so she can get in and out of the car and in and out of her seat by herself. My girl is so big!) She told us about her first day. The teacher gave them a tour of the classroom, and they showed the gingerbread men that they had all decorated as a getting to know you activity. Sarah’s was covered with jewels and feathers and pom poms and finger paints. Then the teacher read The Gingerbread Man to them, and pretended to bake a gingerbread man, but he escaped! They had to track him down and he ended up in the school’s library. They had recess and ate gingerbread cookies (Sarah didn’t like her’s) and then she came home.

We went to Anthony’s work (Anthony had a new job as an enrollment counselor for a school) and we all went to lunch together so Anthony could ask her about her first day.

The second day was a lot harder for me. I teared up a bit because this time she just got out of the car by herself and walked into the school. She was so confident, and so little! She had a hard time opening the door, but a big kid helped her. She had another great day, and was very upset when I told her that she wasn’t going to school on Labor Day.

I’m going to have to work on our schedule so we can figure out how to get her homework done after class, but before I go to work.

I’ve been waking up early with the girls for the last few weeks so it wouldn’t be such a big adjustment when she started morning kindergarten, I’ve noticed I’m a lot more patient with the girls when I’m waking up early. I think I just realize that we are all tired, so I try harder to not get upset with them. Andrea and I especially are getting closer. She wants to snuggle me all the time, and every time we’re walking, she wants to hold my hand. I just love it. I’m so glad to have 2 such beautiful and sweet girls.

Anthony started school for his Master’s degree on the 29th. It is going to be a LOT of work, but I know he can do it. I just hope I can do it, too! It will definitely be a big adjustment from previous semesters, because this time we’re both working full time, with Sarah in school, so I’m going to have to figure out how to keep the house clean by myself since he will spend almost all his waking hours reading. I’m definitely getting better at it as the years progress, but I don’t think it will ever come naturally for me to clean.

We bought the girls a bunk bed. We had to, because they DESTROYED the crib. We had converted it to a day bed for Andrea, and with all the climbing and jumping, they tore it to pieces. One day, Andrea just started bringing slats out to my dad while he was babysitting. They are LOVING it. Anthony put it together yesterday, and they love hanging out on the top bunk and watching a movie. We got the foam mattresses, and hopefully that will keep them from trying to jump on the bed, since they’ll just break the bunk bed boards and collapse them. But the bunk bed itself is super sturdy. It’s the same kind I had growing up, and those beds lasted from the time I was about 5 until after I moved out. You can’t even shake this thing. You try to shake it, and it laughs at you.

We also bought a new oven that should be arriving in a week or so. I’m am VERY excited about this! The large burners broke on our oven a while ago, but we didn’t want to replace them right away. Then there was a short in the stove top, and we decided it was too unsafe to try and repair it ourselves, and we were having trouble with the oven part since I had replaced the bottom burner a year or too ago. The bottom heated a lot more than the top, so the bottom of everything always burned unless you kept 2 cookie sheets in the oven at all times to deflect some heat. We’re getting a smooth top stove. I’m glad, because we cook a lot of heavy things, like large pots of chowder, and that’s why the large burners broke in the first place. We also inherited Bob and Julie’s old fridge, which has a MUCH bigger freezer. The freezer on our fridge was barely wide enough for a Totino’s pizza. If you wanted to put a carton of Breyer’s ice cream in the door, you had to stand it on end. This door is 4 juice cans wide. So excited!!

I have had a ton of dental work done lately. I had 2 crowns replaced and had to get a tooth pulled and an implant put in. In about 2 months, I’ll get the crown for my implant. It was very interesting to me that the implant was almost painless. I took ibuprofen for swelling, but I was pretty pain free until I got a hug that was too rough.

By the way, by doctor told me that it’s ok to take some ibuprofen during pregnancy, just not every day.

The pregnancy is still going much better than the previous ones. When my sciatica starts acting up, I can usually just walk it off. The biggest problem I’m having is muscle pain in my thighs, and some pretty serious exhaustion. I’m still trying to figure out how to get to bed early enough that waking up at 6:45 isn’t hard. I have barely over 3 months left, and Chaskin is sure kicking and moving a lot. He LOVES it when I eat cookies. He just goes crazy the instant I start eating any. I am bigger than I have been at any point in previous pregnancies, and still have time. I feel like he is going to be a giant. Anthony thinks I had girls first so my body could warm up so this giant baby wouldn’t kill me.


Sarah’s 5 Year check-up August 6, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — bequirox @ 3:14 pm

Sarah had her 5 year check up today. She weighs 46 pounds even, and is 45.7 inches tall. In the last year, she has gained 8 pounds and grown 3 inches. Exactly. She is 100th percentile for height, and 75th for weight.

She also had her Kindergarten eye exam today. Her eye sight is perfect. I just realized I forgot to get the form filled out for the school. Oops.



August 1, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — bequirox @ 10:07 pm

We’re having a boy! His name will be Chaskin Ammaron, after Anthony’s older brother and his best friend. He hates it when I wear tight pants, and he loves it when I eat Oreos. Seriously, if I ever feel like he’s been too quiet, I can just eat an Oreo and he’s kicking up a storm within 5 minutes.

The girls are still cute and funny. Andrea took a 4.5 hour nap today, and would have kept sleeping if I didn’t check on her. I was very jealous, but it was my day off, so I spent the time trying to get my jam to gel, cleaning up, and snuggling with Sarah. Then I had a nice snuggle with Andrea when she woke up and we went through their toys for donations.

They are so funny about their toys. I told them we were going to go through the toys and pick the ones they don’t want so we can give them away. Sarah started running around and grabbing her Barbies and saying, “We’re keeping all the Barbies, right?!” I told her, “Sarah, right now we’re not picking out the toys we want to keep, we’re picking the toys we don’t like. So put down the Barbies and pick a toy you don’t like.” They started picking toys to give away, and occasionally one of them would veto the other kid’s choice. Sarah kept trying to get rid of Andrea’s rubber rat. I think they would have gotten rid of all their toys if I hadn’t stopped them to take a break. I think we’ll give it a day or 2 and then look at the toys they don’t want and I’ll ask them if they still want to get rid of all of them. They are definitely not hoarders, and I love that.

We got a new fridge! Anthony’s parents moved and they gave us their fridge. I’m so excited, because the freezer has 3 more cubic feet than our current fridge. They’re both side-by-sides, and our freezer was so narrow you could barely lay down a Totino’s pizza. If we bought Breyer’s ice cream, we’d have to stand it on end to fit it in the door.

When we were moving it over, it was such a hassle. We had to take off his parents’ door to get it out of their house, then we had to take the doors OFF the fridge to get it IN our’s. It has an ice maker, and when we were taking off the freezer door, it disconnected the wires. No biggie, since it’s designed to do that. We plugged it in to make sure it worked, then put the doors back together. Plugged it in again… And it blew the circuit for the kitchen. We tried several times, and it blew every time. We got an extension cord out and tried to plug it into the dining room. Different room, different circuit breaker, and nothing else plugged in. It blew the circuit. Anthony had been told by a ward member that sometimes you can take the back panel off the fridge and hit a reset button and that will take care of it. We didn’t have a reset button. Anthony was about to give up and return it, when I suggested we re-unhook the ice maker. He said it wouldn’t make any difference, but I asked him to humor me. And voila! It stopped blowing circuits! So we don’t have an ice maker, but we DO have a bigger fridge!

This morning I realized that Sarah starts school in about 3 weeks. She has a uniform. and we hadn’t started buying any of it yet. (I also did the math and realized Andrea won’t start Kindergarten for THREE years. I’ve been thinking we would have kids going into school every other year. And Chaskin won’t start for 3 years after that.) So Sarah and I went uniform shopping and I almost cried because she is getting so grown up. She’s so cute in her little jumper! you’ll have to wait to see a picture until her first day, though. I’m going to try to get the day off work, we’ll see how it goes. We still don’t know if she has morning or afternoon Kindergarten, and I’m starting to get anxiety from my inability to plan ahead. I also want to know if we have a supply list. Because if I’m supposed to provide a box of Kleenex and get her some crayons or whatever, I need to know about it! I can’t buy everything the week before school!

Anthony and Sarah have the same first day of school.

Speaking of school, I’m considering going back. I’d go to WGU, since it’s accredited and all online. It’s about $600/year more expensive than the community college. I really want to be a math or science teacher, but I don’t want to start classes at the CC because the semesters are set dates. I like WGU because you start whenever you’re ready, and each semester is 6 months long. You work at your own pace, which means you could finish faster than that, and then start your next semester. If you’re a fast worker, you could get a bachelor’s in 2 years. I’m hoping I’m a fast worker, so I could get through a semester before Chaskin is born. Anyway, it would depend on a lot of things, so I’m not sure it’s going to happen right now. But that’s my goal. I’m the kind of person who wants to talk things over in person, so that’s the downside of an online school.

Work is going great. People keep asking me when I’m going to promote. Like team leaders and department managers. But in an ideal world, I would be coming back from my maternity leave part time only, so I don’t want to promote for 4 months, then say, “Never mind!” Which means I’m also holding off on applying for internships because I don’t want to take that training opportunity away from people who are working toward a promotion NOW.

I made 41 half pints of jam 2 weeks ago. They are delicious. Strawberry, Apricot Pineapple, and Strawberry Mango. The Mango is the one I had to re-set. It was like syrup. We’ll have to see how it works out. So far it’s thicker, but not jammy.


Big Sister June 9, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — bequirox @ 9:13 pm

Sarah is such a great big sister. Andrea is a picky eater, and tonight we convinced her to eat a grilled cheese sandwich. We also put out some tomato soup for her, so she would hopefully watch Sarah eating it and give it a try. However, she just wrinkled her little nose and cutely said, “I don’t yike it.”

Sarah told her, “Andrea, you remember how we talked about sharing? Well, now it’s time to talk about trying new things. And you’re a big girl and you should try the soup. See, I’m going to eat some, and I’m not scared!” And she ate a big bite of soup.

It was the cutest dang thing, and Anthony and I had to find excuses to leave the table so we wouldn’t laugh, because she HATES to be laughed at.


Earlier today we were talking about our favorite superheroes. Sarah’s is Catwoman. She has a Catwoman costume and is constantly wearing it and won’t answer to anything but Catwoman. And when she’s in costume, she only refers to us as Cat Mom, Cat Dad, and Cat Sister. Anyway, she was asking us who our favorite superheroes are, and Anthony said his was Wolverine. She said, “Not Batman?” And they had a long discussion about the merits of Batman vs. Wolverine. Then she asked me and I said, “Well, I think my favorite is Superman.” We all agreed that Superman was a good choice. Then Andrea walked into the room and we asked who her favorite superhero and she responded without hesitation, “Metro Man.”


Last night we went to Sizzler for dinner as a family. Sarah LOVES to eat at restaurants, even though she only ever orders macaroni and cheese. Anyway, Anthony decided to find something in her ear, and it turned into a game for the whole dinner with Anthony and I finding things in everyone’s ear. Sarah would get so excited and say, “What is dis, some kind of magic or somefin?!” (She still has a little trouble with “th.”) She eventually decided that there was a witch that had cast a spell on her. We sat near the windows, and Andrea spent the whole time pulling faces in them. It was hilarious. Well, I guess not the whole time, because occasionally she would run around the table and give Anthony a big ranch dressing or ice cream soaked kiss.


Both girls are such a blast, they seriously crack me up. Dad is watching them while Anthony and I work, and he tells us funny stores when we come home. Like on time Sarah was asking him where his hair was, and he said he had lost it. She told him, “Maybe it’s under your bed…” Then a few weeks later they were watching a movie and the people were upset. Sarah asked why they were sad, and Dad said, “Because they lost their freedom.” She looked at him slyly and said, “Maybe it’s with your hair.”

He took a nap on the couch once while Andrea was napping and Sarah was watching a movie. Andrea woke up before he did, and came out of her room, saw he was asleep, and went back in her room. She then came out with all her stuffed animals she sleeps with and her white blanket and tucked him in, then sat quietly on the other couch so he could keep sleeping. She does the sweetest things. She is so willful, but she is also so thoughtful. He was telling me another story about how he had a headache, so she climbed up on the couch behind him and started softly brushing his hair.

A few days ago I was crying, and Andrea asked what was wrong. I told her, “Sometimes my life is just hard.” She has this special soft voice she uses when she wants to comfort someone and she gently petted my face and back and said, “I sowwy you wife is hawd.”


And now for the big announcement: I’m pregnant! I’m due December 6th. I’m about 57% wanting a boy, and 43% wanting a girl. I want a boy because we have some very meaningful names picked out, and I want to be able to use them. But I want a girl because our 2 girls we already have are so AMAZING, I think it would be wonderful to get another one.


Opinion Much? June 8, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — bequirox @ 10:49 pm

We were driving home tonight and Sarah saw a pan handler. She asked why he was holding a sign, and Anthony said he wants people to give him money. Sarah asked why, and Anthony told her, “Because he doesn’t have any money.” Sarah said, “Well, he should go to work, then, and get some money!” She then proceeded to yell out her window, “Hellooooooo! Get a JOB!”


Big Changes May 9, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — bequirox @ 11:44 pm

Well, we’ve had several big changes lately. Maybe changes is the wrong word. Big events is probably more accurate.

The first week of April, we went out to California. The night of the first, we drove to Vegas. we stayed at the Circus Circus. It was SO LAME. They close the pool at 6 p.m. and don’t open it again til 10 a.m.! All the rides and stuff were shut down by the time we got there at 8 p.m. We were hoping to take the girls on some rides. Next time we’ll just pick a cheap hotel and sleep and then continue on our trip. Their air conditioning was also pretty crummy. It would turn on for about 2 minutes and then shut off for 13. So the room never actually got to a comfortable temperature, and the noise woke me up several times.

The 2nd, we finished driving out to Murrieta and then stayed with Anthony’s family for the rest of our trip. On the 3rd, we went to Disneyland. Lexy took us, and she used a wheelchair because of a sore foot. It’s $15 to rent a wheelchair, and I recommend doing it. You get through the lines a lot faster! Does that make me a jerk? Oh well. The girls were funny this trip because Sarah was scared of all the rides she loved last time. Andrea LOVES to be scared. So on Pirates of the Caribbean, Sarah got really upset during the drops but Andrea loved it. We rode the train around the park again, and another passenger stopped me to tell me how beautiful and astonishing both of the girls’ eyes are. Proud mama!

On the 4th, Anthony got sealed to his Chidester family in the San Diego Temple. It was a super spiritual experience, and I’m so glad I was able to be there to experience it. Sarah was worried that when he got sealed, he would have to go live with them. She was relieved when I clarified that. (She also doesn’t want me to be a grandma, because she doesn’t want me to move out. She made me promise that when she gets married, she can still live here.)

I don’t remember what we did on the 5th. The 6th, we started our drive home. We stayed at a hotel in Saint George. It was also a disappointment, because the pool was FREEZING. This air conditioner was better, because it stayed on, but it was impossible to get it to a comfortable temperature. It was either so cold that I had to turn it down, or so hot that I had to turn it up. The continental breakfast was stale cereal and Tang.

It was a relief to get home on the 7th! Andrea has SUCH a hard time sleeping outside her bed and not getting normal naps. We all slept in 1 room every night, and she had nightmares EVERY NIGHT.

Then on the 25th, Anthony and I flew out to Santa Barbara for his best friend, Ammaron’s, wedding. Ammaron and Allison got married on the 27th. It was really sweet and beautiful. We spent most of our time missing the girls. (It wasn’t feasible to buy them plane tickets.) A&A were so generous and let us use a car and stay at their house, so it was a very inexpensive trip. Santa Barbara was so beautiful. We went out to Fisherman’s Wharf and ate ice cream and bought the girls souvenirs (little purses with stuffed horses inside), we went downtown and watched Oblivion (AWESOME!), we walked around a bit and ate breakfast. It was still a little too cold to enjoy much time outside, but everything was GORGEOUS. We also met a lot of A&A’s other friends. I discovered that A&A are GREAT at picking friends! Everyone was so nice and fun and hilarious. I was invited to Allison’s bachelorette party and it was a blast. We ate sausages and played the Family Fun Game.

Family Fun Game is where someone picks a topic, then everyone writes clues or related sentences or something about the topic on individual slips of paper. There are 3 rounds to the game, and you play in teams with 1 minute per person/turn. Round one is you describe as many slips as you can without saying any of the words on the slip. The second round is charades for the same slips. The third round is describing the slips using 1 word. It was so fun, and is harder than it sounds, especially if you get a lot of slips you have to keep straight for the later rounds. The team with the most slips at the end wins.

We flew back the 28th and got home at about 11:00. I was so excited to see the girls the next morning, I woke up at 7:00 and couldn’t get back to sleep. They had stayed with Julie while we were gone. It was cute how excited they were to see us! Sarah named her souvenir horse Spirit, and Andrea named her’s Mommy.

May 3rd, Anthony graduated from the U with his Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication. He has been accepted into the Master’s Program at the U, and will start in the fall. We are very excited for this summer off together, and plan to make the most of our brief break from homework. In the last 4 years, Anthony has been enrolled in school every semester except the summer he transitioned from Associate’s to Bachelor’s.

I interviewed for a promotion at work this week. I didn’t get it, and I honestly feel relieved.

Last night I had a TERRIBLE dream. When I think about it, I start to cry. I was a person who found lost people. I was supposed to find a guy who was lost in some caves. I thought it would be fun for the girls if they went with me, so we went in and started exploring. We were having a good time. I called the guy’s cell phone, and it started ringing from between a few rocks. It had fallen out of his pocket. He was close enough that he heard the phone, so he came to us and was so glad to be found. He showed us where he had been waiting for a rescue, and then we made our way out of the caves. The entrance of the cave was inside a big Visitor Center. We were jumping from rock to rock on our way out and just having fun. I heard a loud rumbling noise right as we were getting out of the cave. The guy looked very alert and started running to the Visitor Center. Andrea chased after him, and Sarah and I walked out. We came into a big room with a wall of windows, and when I looked out the window I could see the earth collapsing at the horizon, and it was quickly moving toward us. The guy turned and grabbed Andrea (they were too far away for me to get to her in time, and I just felt relieved that she was going to die being held, and not falling alone), and I turned to Sarah and grabbed both her hands and looked her in the eyes and started shouting over the noise, “ILOVEYOU! (Andrea and the guy fell into the abyss) ILOVEYOU!” And then the floor fell out from underneath us.

It is seriously the most upsetting and awful thing I’ve ever experienced. I hope there’s not some weird dream translation that our world is about to collapse or something.



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