Since we live in Utah, Sarah has had a very limited exposure to people of different skin colors. Thanks to our neighborhood, she has seen a lot of Hispanics and Tongans/Samoans, but very few African-Americans. Because of this, every time she sees a black person, she gets very vocal about them. Here are 2 examples:
We were shopping and our checkout lane ended near the customer service desk. There was a black family in line at customer service, with a little girl about Sarah’s age. Sarah saw the family and shouted, “Mommy, they’re BLACK!” I said, “Yes, they are.” She said, “Mommy, that little girl is BLACK!” I said, “Yes she is. Isn’t she beautiful?” And Sarah said, “She’s a BEAUTIFUL BLACK girl!”
Saturday, we went shopping with dad. There was a Nigerian family sort of following our shopping route, so we kept passing them. Sarah said, “They’re BLACK!” and dad said, “Yes, they are.” Then she looked at dad and said, “You’re WHITE!” And dad said, “Yes, I am.” Sarah thought for a minute and said, “I like BLACK!” And the Nigerian dad laughed so hard and said, “Me too!”
I’m not totally sure if I’m handling this well. I think in each situation, there’s not really a better way to handle it, because once you kid yells out someone’s skin color, I think it would just make it worse to try and shush them. But should I be talking to her between episodes about not commenting on skin color? Or will that just make her think about it more, so she’s more likely to say something again next time? She’s 3, but talks like she’s so much older, so sometimes I forget that she’s still practically a toddler. She also comments on wheelchairs etc. “Mommy, that lady’s in a WHEELCHAIR!”
My kids are obsessed with people in wheelchairs…. I think it’s just a kid thing & I think you are handling the color thing perfectly. She’ll see that you’re not freaked out by it & the people can see that you are showing her that they are good people no matter their skin color. I’m sure in Utah they get it all the time & sometimes unfortunately by people a lot older. There’s that pic of Jesus by children of all different races so maybe sometime show her that and talk about how we are all children of Heavenly Father, but we all look different, but don’t focus on “and they’re white & they’re black”, but then she will see that they are just regular people so it won’t see so strange when she sees them at the grocery store.
People know what color they are. People in wheelchairs know they’re in wheelchairs. This isn’t news to them. I think you’re handling it very well.
I read an article in Parents Magazine (so I’m an expert now) written by or about (not sure which) this lady who has just two fingers on each hand. One of her children also inherited this. She mentioned how she feels it only makes it worse when parents get all awkward and shush their kids if they comment. She said it may make the kids think it’s bad to be different. I agree with her.
Kids say the darndest things. As long as they’re not saying them while picking their nose or undressing themselves in public you’re doing ok.
Jessie, I read that same article! She says that she would rather have kids come up and ask her “what’s wrong with your hand?” and give her a chance to explain to them so they’re not freaked out, then have parents rush them away like she’s a scary person. I think you’re dealing with it just smashingly. By making it a cut and dry, matter-of-fact conversation, it helps the kiddos to realize that it’s normal. It’s not something that you need to shy away from, or be scared of, or avoid. Everyone realized that they are different from other people to some extent, and talking about it will help Sarah realize that those differences are beautiful and created by our Heavenly Father, and they’re not something to be scared of.